As you can guess, when it came to sleeping, I had very little time for that! My dad tells the story of how I stood up in my crib and instead of sleeping; I shook it until the screws came loose. His answer to that was to spank me. To him, I was more of a problem than a princess.

I grew up in that same home dominated by fear. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the criticism or the order. The philosophy of the day was male privilege and I being the oldest daughter was there for chores, waiting on others and giving in to the wishes of my dad. He was unable to accept the individual creativity and talents that were a natural part of me. I constantly thought there was something wrong with me.

This scenario played out again in my unhappy, abusive 28 year marriage. Just like my childhood, I worked overtime trying to please and perform perfectly only to be rejected through divorce. It wasn’t until a dear friend used the word “abuse” that I understood what it felt like to be alone, to not receive the respect that I was due for being a wife, a mom or a daughter.

I have been asked many times, “why didn’t you just leave?” Honestly, I didn’t know that other worlds existed out there and that there were others that had gone through exactly what I had. There were resources, correct methods, and wise counsel available. But, then there was this part of me that said “You can do it! Don’t give up! If you just try harder, you can fix it!”

Now I’m here… I tapped into that God given determination and I did something about my situation! I surrounded myself with coaches, mentors and counselors that encouraged me and strengthened the talent they saw. For once, I had cheerleaders!

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